"I don't care if he's pregnant and his butt is on fire and he's about to have an ass baby."

Anyway.

Today I accomplished a goal. 2.05 miles in 30 minutes. Awww yeah. Damn the man and their stupid mileage and minutes! I beat them and their stupid machines! MUAHAHAHA! I am proud of myself. Genuinly proud. And that doesn't happen that often.

Speaking of machines, I'm so proud of the people of California. They now have the Terminator leading them into battle! What smart people over there, those Californians. Let's all give them a pat on the back!

I think I'm gonna make this a short one tonight. I know, *gasp*, a short entry? But I just don't have it in me to get into detail that craphole that is my life right now. But in good news, I get to see my baby Charlie on Friday as I am going to the farm. I heart my baby Charlie.

So, good times.

*****

a year ago..

"I think I'm also creeping toward being depressed. I really don't want to get a job right out of college. I really hate being tied down in Texas. I love BB, and I want to have a family with him someday, but I really wish I could take a year and just go off by myself. Do some travelling or volunteering or something. But when I say things like that to him, he takes it personally. And I really can't blame him too much.. he's 24, he wants to start a family soon, and if I go do my own thing for a while, he's probably not going to wait."

and...

"There's nothing like a margarita to bring the whole "I hate my life and I want to get the hell out of here" speech out of me. I do, though. I want to get the hell out of here. I want to go to Las Vegas and I want to be a music journalist by day and a blackjack dealer by night. I want to go out and cause trouble and make suave friends who will drink margaritas with me and who will know me inside and out, and will sometimes participate in lesbian sex with me, too. I want to go to Las Vegas and find my niche, and then I want to come back to Dallas and show BB that I am not a fuck up, and that I truly am the person that he wants to marry. I want to go to Las Vegas and be able to take $20 and go to the Venitian or the Hard Rock and win lots of money. I want to live by the mountains and I want to cruise the strip and I want to be cool. Is that too much to ask?"

2 years ago...

"I am seriously shaking right now. I'm having a hard time typing this. As soon as he came into the room, I got all butterflyish. It was really quite disgusting.

So of course, before he left, I had to go up to him and make a fool out of myself again.

"Math Boy! Hi! (Blush) I never thanked you for helping me in the math class! (Actually, I thanked him about 12,000 times, but that's neither here nor there.) I got a B! Thanks to you!" (More blushing) (giggle)

Okay, so I didn't giggle, but I might as well have. Good lord. I am such a freaking dork."