I just don't want to talk about me at all this week. Today I went to my new psychologist, I went to my depression support group, I talked to my mom, I talked to my dad, I talked to my brother. They all want to know how I am, what I'm doing to improve myself, why I just don't get it. Never have my problems come to this point. Never have I been so closely watched and scrutinized about every stupid little thing that I do wrong. And talking to my dad is just the worst.. he makes me feel like the lowest scum of the earth.

Am I really that bad? I mean.. I don't think I'm that much of a fuck up. I haven't done drugs, I hardly ever drink, I'm not gay! So, wow, I have a weight problem. Oh no, I wasn't good at talking to people who wanted to blame me for all their car problems. Well, I must be the biggest fuck up on earth, according to everyone around me.

I'm so tired of talking about it and thinking about it, so could we please just have lovely time and not psychoanalyze everything that happens? I know you probably didn't have that in mind, but what I need is a break. I want puppies and orgasms and big red trucks, not crying and rehasing everything that's wrong with me.

I just feel like a bad person, and that makes me angry. It makes me so mad that the people in my life have all come together to make me feel like a great big piece of parvo poo. Why all this negativity? Can't we all just hold hands and see that positive vibes are what I need right now? I don't need my dad telling me, "Just do it! Everyone is mad at you and you need to make it better!"

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to unload all this crap on you, but there's only so much a girl can take.

I can't wait to see you, though! It's gonna be good times.

I know you think I want some long retort from you, but if you don't have anything to say about that matter, than don't. I can dig it.